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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712312">Ugly, But Clean</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_outcast/pseuds/just_another_outcast'>just_another_outcast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the scenes we deserve (episode tags) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Prodigal Son (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Discussions of abuse, Emotional Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Episode: s01e04 Designer Complicity, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Malcolm Bright Gets a Hug, Malcolm Bright Needs a Hug, Protective Gil Arroyo, but in this ep i don't, coda to 1x04, i really do love jessica i promise, so in this fic i don't either, tag to 1x04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:13:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_outcast/pseuds/just_another_outcast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The case itself hadn't been too emotionally taxing, but Malcolm's personal life always was. Gil knows, from the bandage over the kid's hand to the faint bruise that shows up near his eye a day later, that something is going on. Finally, once the case is done, he gets a chance to ask about it.</p>
<p>(tag to 1x04, Designer Complicity)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gil Arroyo &amp; Malcolm Bright, Malcolm Bright &amp; Sunshine the Bird</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the scenes we deserve (episode tags) [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1782832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ugly, But Clean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title comes from the song Cherry Wine by Hozier.  Please note the tags, btw.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Of course the kid wanted to watch it.  But now that Gil was handing the tape over, he could see the fear in the kid's eyes.  What if the tape showed him something that he didn't want to see?  Gil knew that wouldn't happen.  He knew that Jessica hadn't known anything about Martin's murders, but the kid didn't know that.  As far as he knew, watching that tape might have meant finding out that his mother was complicit in at least twenty-three murders.</p>
<p>Malcolm looked up at him, glancing down every now and then at the tape lying on the table, his eyes big and blue and holding just a little bit of fear.</p>
<p>"You don't have to watch it right now, kid," Gil reminded him.  "You don't have to watch it at all."</p>
<p>"Yes, I do," Malcolm fired back.  "I need to see, for myself, if my mother knew."</p>
<p>Gil sighed.  "Okay, but can you at least a question for me?"  He'd let it go throughout their investigation into Tatiana's death, but the kid still hadn't said what happened.  Malcolm looked back up at him hesitantly.  "What happened to you?  You show up to a crime scene with your hand bandaged, and the next day you've got a bruise by your eye.  What's goin' on, kid?"  Malcolm glanced down at his hand in time with Gil's mention of it, then towards the windows to hide the bruise when Gil mentioned that too.  His gaze finally fell to the ground, his hands hanging limply off his legs.  "Is someone hurting you?" Gil asked.  He had to.  He knew of the kid's tendencies to let people physically hurt him because of some dumb idea that he deserved it.  That made every domestic violence scene that Gil rolled up on back while he was still a beat cop and every murder that stemmed from DV once he made detective even harder, because Gil knew that so many of those men and women were just a little bit too much like Malcolm, believing that they deserved it.</p>
<p>"No," Malcolm insisted, eyes darting up to Gil's.  "I mean- no, no, no one's hurting me."  Gil knew that Malcolm wasn't telling the whole truth, but he would let it slide for the moment.  "I broke a glass this morning, that's how my hand got cut, and the bruise is nothing, it's barely even there."</p>
<p>Technically he was right.  It was small, and not a bad bruise at all.  But Gil was hypersensitive to any hurt his kid may have, so he noticed it.  He also noticed that Malcolm cared much more about the bruise than the cut on his hand.  The kid's voice was perfectly steady when referring to his hand, but when he mentioned the bruise, his voice wobbled almost imperceptibly.  But Malcolm was his kid, so Gil noticed.  The kid's unwillingness to say how he got the bruise, combined with his emotional reaction towards mentioning it, implied that he got it in a traumatic way, and it was caused by something or someone that Malcolm didn't want him knowing about.  Martin, although a likely candidate, wasn't possible this time.  Malcolm had mentioned that Martin wasn't allowed to see him for the time being.  But, that very fact, along with Malcolm's uncertainty concerning his mother's possible involvement with Martin's crimes, could very well have been a catalyst to cause Jessica to lash out.  Gil's sharp intake of breath at the realization was obviously enough for Malcolm to realize that Gil had figured it out.  The man had been a detective for many years.</p>
<p>"It's nothing," the kid muttered, breaking eye contact to stare at the floor once again.</p>
<p>"Malcolm, kid, please look at me," Gil gently asked of him.  He rested a hand on the kid's knee and leaned forward.  Slowly, Malcolm looked back up at him, his eyes shining.  "Did your mother hit you?"  Malcolm's eyes filling with tears was all the answer he needed.  Still, the kid hesitantly nodded for a moment, before quickly shaking his head and narrowing his eyes.  He wiped his tears away and held his head high.</p>
<p>"I'm fine," he started out, even though Gil hadn't asked him or said otherwise.  "I pushed her to it, accusing her of terrible things and not listening, and a slap doesn't even count and-"</p>
<p>"No," Gil interrupted.  This was exactly what Gil was afraid of.  The kid was turning it on himself and insisting that he deserved it.  If that kind of behavior didn't stop, then Gil knew that Malcolm would truly become one of the many domestic violence victims he'd seen over his career.  That wasn't okay.  "This is not on you.  It was not your fault and you did not deserve it."</p>
<p>"But-"</p>
<p>"No, no buts," Gil insisted.  His own emotions towards Jessica were always conflicted these days, and this was certainly not helping the matter.  "This is never okay, no matter what.  It doesn't matter if it didn't hurt that much, or if it didn't leave a massive mark, or if it was open hand instead of closed fist.  None of that matters.  What matters is that she hit you, and that is not okay."  Jessica had certain tendencies that concerned Gil, but she'd never done anything like this before.  Hopefully, she would never do anything like this again.  The woman truly did love her children, but every now and then, she would let other things become more important than that love.</p>
<p>"I wanted to call you, after, but I- I couldn't," Malcolm tearfully admitted.  He collapsed in on himself, a little bit, quickly shedding his bravado and once again becoming the teenager who let a girl he was seeing push him around and make him do things he wasn't comfortable with until he was just so terrified that he finally broke down and told Gil everything.  That had been one of the worst nights of Gil's life.  As much as this sucked, it wasn't as bad.</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm here now," Gil replied.  He could just see the kid in his mind, trembling and breaking down once he was alone, feeling the sting by his eye and the tear in his heart, going over what happened again and again and again until he finally convinced himself that he was the one at fault, that he deserved it and it wasn't even that bad anyway, that it didn't matter.  The kid's self worth was so low that Gil wasn't surprised that he managed to convince himself that that was true.  "I'm here now and I'm not goin' anywhere.  I am always here for you, kid, you know that."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Malcolm said, wiping away his tears and hanging his head.</p>
<p>"You have nothing to be sorry for," Gil replied.  He moved from his seat to the kid's side by the couch.  He wrapped an arm around Malcolm's shoulders, and wasn't surprised when the kid leaned into the touch.  Gil took it a step further and pulled him close, the kid's head resting on his shoulder.  Malcolm followed suit and leaned fully into Gil's chest, going almost limp in his arms.  He clutched onto Gil with all he had, letting more of the tears fall.  "You have nothing to be sorry for," Gil repeated, wrapping his arms around his kid as the boy cried in his arms.  "It's okay.  I'm right here, kid.  I'm right here."</p>
<p>Gil wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, Malcolm in his arms like a child once more, but Gil didn't mind.  Malcolm was the son he never had, and he would do whatever it took, no matter what, to prove to the kid that he was worthy of love.  But eventually, Malcolm pulled away, apologizing profusely as he always did.</p>
<p>"How many times do I have to say that you have nothing to be sorry about?" Gil asked, this time with a smile on his face.</p>
<p>Malcolm let out a sardonic chuckle in response, shaking his head.  His gaze fell once more onto the video tape, still sitting on the coffee table.  He looked between the tape and the TV, taking a deep breath as he did so.</p>
<p>"I need to see that tape," he muttered, once again not meeting Gil's gaze.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to watch it with you?" he asked.  He would do whatever Malcolm asked, although he preferred to stay.  Jessica hadn't known anything about Martin's crimes, so the kid was going to be relieved after he watched the tape.  But, since Malcolm had a significantly overactive guilt complex, he would only feel ashamed that he had even suspected that his mother had known something.  The kid wasn't going to let himself feel relieved.  Gil wanted to be there for that, to remind the kid that it was okay, that anyone in his position would have suspected the same.  But, if Malcolm asked to be alone, then Gil would do it.</p>
<p>"I think," Malcolm paused, taking a deep breath.  "I think this is something that I need to do alone."  He made eye contact again, and offered Gil a sad smile.</p>
<p>"Are you sure?" Gil confirmed.  Malcolm gave him a slow, steady nod, and Gil knew his mind would not be changed.  "Okay," he said, giving in.  Even if he didn't think it was good for the kid to be alone, Malcolm wasn't so in crisis that Gil had any suspicion that it would be physically dangerous for him, so he would let it go.  "Just remember, if you need me, I will be there.  You just call me, and I'll be right back here before you can even hang up, okay kid?"</p>
<p>"Thanks, Gil," Malcolm replied.  "For everything."</p>
<p>Gil left.  Malcolm watched the tape.  Several hours passed.  Malcolm called Gil.  It was two in the morning.</p>
<p>"Hey, kid," he answered quietly, despite the fact that Jackie had been gone for three years and Gil had no reason to be quiet.</p>
<p>"Hey, Gil," Malcolm answered in an equally quiet voice, but for an entirely different reason.  "My mother and I talked things out.  I think we're good now."</p>
<p>"That's great, kid," Gil replied, sitting up and swinging his legs over the bed.  "Do you need me to come over?"</p>
<p>"No, I have Sunshine right here with me," Malcolm calmly replied.  "I'll be okay, I just wanted to let you know.  Wanna say hello, Sunshine?"  Gil heard the sound of the bird tweeting.  She must have been sitting on the kid's shoulder.  Good.  Malcolm needed that.  Really, Gil wanted Malcolm to have a dog, for a lot of reasons, but he knew the kid wouldn't exactly be able to take care of one at the time being, and a bird wasn't as intensive.  "She says hi."</p>
<p>Gil let out a small laugh.  "Why'd you take her out of her cage at 2am?" he couldn't help but ask.</p>
<p>"I came back from seeing my mother, and I said hello to her like I always do, but I guess she woke up, and she started singing."  Gil could practically hear the kid smiling.  "She was singing so loud and it was so beautiful, so I had to.  I had to let her out, and I thought she was going to fly around, but she just came to sit on my shoulder, and she doesn't seem to want to move.  But that's okay.  It's not as if I'll be able to sleep, anyway."</p>
<p>"She loves you, kid," Gil said.  Before he'd met Sunshine, Gil didn't know that birds could love anyone.  Sunshine proved that they could, and he was endlessly grateful for that.</p>
<p>"I love her, too," Malcolm replied.  He sounded tired.</p>
<p>"I know you do, and I know you don't think you can sleep, but kid, you've got to try," Gil insisted.  "I can hear how exhausted you are.  Sunshine won't mind, I promise."</p>
<p>Malcolm chuckled lightly once again.  "I know, you're right."  That right there proved how tired the kid was.  He admitted that Gil was right.</p>
<p>"Goodnight, Bright," Gil said around a smile.  "I'm glad you're okay."</p>
<p>"Goodnight, Gil.  Thanks for everything," Malcolm said, echoing his words from earlier.</p>
<p>"Always, kid."</p>
<p>The line went silent, but Gil smiled once again.  Malcolm's life wasn't fair, but the kid was strong, and he would be just fine.  Gil had the strongest kid there was.</p>
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